Poker and naked nachos

I can remember a time when the only people on this planet who played poker were middle-aged men who only played because it gave them an excuse to get out of the house and away from their wives for a few hours.

Those days, however, are now far behind us. Not only has poker rapidly become one of the most popular activities among college students, it is also becoming popular on a national stage with the World Series of Poker on ESPN and other such shows which have begun to spring up all over cable television.

What I cannot comprehend is exactly why it is becoming so popular - it is just a stupid card game.

Did you know that hardcore poker enthusiasts are now lobbying for poker to become an Olympic event? No, I'm not kidding, although part of me wishes I were. Some will argue that chess has been an Olympic event in the past and thus it wouldn't be too far-fetched to see poker taken up as well. But really, who took chess seriously? I know I sure as hell didn't.

The Olympics have always been synonymous with athletic competition and athletic skill - so I ask you, where does poker or chess fit in? At least chess requires a ton of attention and instances of brilliance in order to win. Poker on the other hand requires a whole lot of luck. And don't give me this "it takes skill because you have to bluff other players" crap. Have you ever watched the World Series of Poker? If you have, you would know this is totally not true. The majority of the "professionals" wear sunglasses and hats to hide their expressions. Now that is some real talent!

Realistically, poker should be taken about as seriously as Go Fish. If you think about it, they both require just about the exact same levels of "talent" in order to achieve victory, except Go Fish's rules are easier to pick up. Actually, come to think of it, you also could probably include Old Maid in our little grouping as well.

So why haven't these games become popular? They all share the exact same "skill" levels and "talent" required to play each game. Why aren't they equally popular? The world may never know. However, what I can tell you is if you are going to make poker an Olympic event, then there better damn well be an Old Maid event as well. I can't wait to see the ratings.

The truth is that these people who contest that poker is a sport are just as bad as all the geeks out there who make the same argument that videogames such as Halo should be considered to be just as much an athletic competition as professional sports like football or basketball.

It's people like these who make Michael David Monn look intelligent. If you haven't heard of Monn, let me give you some background: According to the AP, last July Monn celebrated his 23rd birthday by getting sloppy drunk, breaking into a local town pool's snack bar area, and letting himself get caught by police while he was running naked, covered in nacho cheese, in the pool's parking lot. I heard he is pretty good at poker too.