Some perils of poker

Personal Finance

This week I am questioning my parenting skills.

When the holidays rolled around this past December, my family asked (as they always do) what to buy my kids.

This year, my 10-year-old son Jake was especially easy. He and his friends had turned on to Celebrity Poker and started playing the game. I suggested to my parents that a folding poker tabletop would be a hit - and I was right.

Then a few weeks ago some local junior high students were suspended for gambling in the locker room and I started to wonder. I thought of poker as a great way to learn about math - and money. To me, the notion of kids playing poker in the basement was a relief. At least I would know where they are!

Was it time for me to get a clue? The experts say yes. When kids like my son and his friends play with chips, it's fairly innocent. But when the stakes turn to actual money - and by seventh or eighth grade they often do - it's gambling, and a cause for concern.

The Wager, a Harvard Medical School publication reported that two-thirds of Canadian junior and senior high students had gambled in the past year.

According to an MSNBC poll, 42% of 16- and 17-year-old American kids say they've gambled in the last 12 months. People who start gambling as teens are three times more likely to become addicted than those who start gambling as adults. One in eight, research shows, will become problem gamblers. Males are five times more susceptible than females.

Problem gambling can lead to all sorts of other life disasters, said Elizabeth George, executive director of the North American Training Institute, which provides public education on problem gambling.

"Research has shown that if a young person has a problem with gambling they're more likely to have a problem with alcohol and drugs," she said.

That's news to most parents, said Jeffrey Derevensky, co-director of International Center for Youth Gambling Problems and High Risk Behaviors at McGill University.

"Gambling is the hidden addiction," he said. "You can't smell it on their breath. You can't see it in their eyes."

Adding to parents' confusion - a large proportion of kids who gamble do it responsibly.

So how do you stop what may be an innocent, and fleeting, hobby from turning into a nightmare down the road?

• Educate your kids. Schools have become terrific at dispersing the messages "don't drink," "don't smoke," "don't do drugs," "don't have unprotected sex." But aside from no-gambling rules on many campuses, there's no "don't gamble" edict.
  

  That's your job. Talk to your kids about the fact that underage gambling is not only illegal (it is) but that the rush they get from winning actual money can lead them to want to wager more the next time. And that can be dangerous.
  

• Walk the talk. Once you start talking to your kids about the dangers of gambling, you have to treat it like a potential danger. Tell them, if they want to play cards in your house they can do it for chips - not money. Then it's no more harmful than Monopoly.
  
• Stop buying them lottery tickets. Use the parental controls on your Internet browser to screen out gambling sites. And at next year's Super Bowl party, reconsider allowing kids to participate in the pool.
  
• Watch for warning signs. You know your child has become too involved with the game when it starts to become the focus of his life. He talks about it all the time. Other activities he used to value take a backseat. His grades slip. And he has a constant need for money. If you're seeing more than one of these signs, it's time to seek help.
  

  One place to start: www.nati.org , where links and resources are particularly helpful.
  

  I'd love your feedback.