Like James Bond movies and classic literature, sports rivalries are only as good as their villains.
Thunderball had Blofeld.
Othello had Iago.
Eagles vs. Vikings has Randy Moss.
Take a bow, Randy.
Uh, check that.
How about just a nice little wave?
When he's not pretending to pull down his pants in a move that might have been funny in 7th grade, Moss is a terrific wide receiver and legitimate threat to the Eagles' plans of advancing to the Super Bowl.
He scored two touchdowns in Minnesota's 31-17 playoff victory over Green Bay Sunday in Lambeau Field. He caught 13 touchdowns in 13 games this season. He has 90 TDs in seven NFL seasons.
But he's not even the Eagles' biggest worry this week. That title goes to Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper.
Culpepper, he's scary. He's 6-foot-4 and 264 pounds. He's playing great. And he's got a bit of a chip on his shoulder after fumbling on the goal-line when the Vikings lost to the Eagles back on Sept. 20.
But he's a nice guy. A class act. A solid citizen who just doesn't fit the profile of Public Enemy No. 1.
Moss, he's made for the role. He's the guy who pretended to pull down his pants and "mooned" the Packers fans after scoring a late touchdown Sunday in Green Bay.
He's also the guy who walked off the field with two seconds remaining in the Vikings' final regular-season game Jan. 2 in Washington - abandoning his teammates in another petulant display of insufferable selfishness.
Worst of all, the man is threatening to inspire a revival of Oscar Gamble-style, giant Afros.
OK, they might be pretty cool-looking and kind of retro in a 1970s sort of way. But they also could ruin the sightlines for folks in movie theaters all over this great nation.
He must be stopped.
"Just having some fun with the boys," Moss told the Associated Press of his antics in Green Bay, when he gave new meaning to the term end zone.
Unlike folks around here, who are eating up this stuff with soup ladles, the Vikings are tiring of Moss' act. He likely will be traded in the offseason, provided Minnesota can convince Baltimore or Arizona that the wide receiver who caught a combined 217 passes during the 2002 and 2003 seasons is worth the aggravation.
That kind of stuff, it wears down an organization over time. But in the short term, it often has a galvanizing effect inside a locker room - witness the Vikings' inspired play Sunday after a week of hearing about Moss and his walk-off in Washington.
That's a bit of a worry for the Eagles.
This is great fun for everybody else, though.
I mean, there's not much to loathe about the Vikings. They are a mediocre team that can't play outdoors despite their location. They have a few good players but nothing to inspire much fear among the Philadelphia faithful.
But they have Moss, and he's the perfect villain. He's nearly as good a wide receiver as the Eagles' injured Terrell Owens (Moss is faster, but not as physical) and he has many of Owens' flamboyant, look-at-me qualities.
But Owens never bailed on the Eagles this season. Or took his touchdown celebrations to such a trashy, juvenile level.
Besides, Moss plays for the other team - and around here, that automatically gives him a running start as a bad guy.
Blofeld, Goldfinger and Spectre, they made those Bond movies. Iago, Shylock and Richard III, they are among Shakespeare's best creations.
Bad guys make for bad blood. They stir the pot in every adventure, in Cowboy movies, action flicks, crime shows - and the build-up to big games.
Moss makes it easy. His own teammates don't seem to like him. His coach is in constant state of cringe.
And he's coming to Lincoln Financial Field, to try to break the Eagles' hearts and crush their Super Bowl dreams.
Or at least to insult their fans.
The game might not be great drama. But the week before should be classic stuff - thanks to the Viking villain who is threatening to steal the show.
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