Gay is the new poker

By Joe Sanders
January 19, 2005

"Gay is the new poker."

When I first heard this in my senior year of high school, I couldn't fathom what such a nonsensical phrase could mean. After arriving at the UW, however, my 12th-grade messiah couldn't have been any further from the mark.

Many individuals have taken up the hobby of poker within the past few years -- an explosion especially significant in the high school and college male demographics. With the rise of poker, however, a decidedly masculine pastime, the fad that followed shortly there after -- metrosexuality -- seemed counterintuitive.

Metrosexuality is defined by WordSpy as "an urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle." In layman's terms, the goal of the metrosexual is to achieve an image that has been long associated with homosexuals: well-groomed, well-dressed and well-cultured.

Enter Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

Just like the yin and yang, there is a natural balance to these things, which is thrown off kilter when one aspect of the spectrum tries to become more like another.

I cite the example of a gay friend of mine who recently began attending the UW. He comes from a fairly suburban part of Colorado, only about an hour outside of Denver. When he came to Seattle, he was completely thrown off by what he found: A sea of straight men who dressed just like he did, right down to his form-fitting Diesel jeans.

More than just personal pride, young men need to understand that, previously, this sort of dress was a code distinguishing one homosexual to the other. All else being equal, men were able to tell the sexual orientation of perspective mates by the clothes they donned. Appearances now thrown out the window, the lonely gay -- like my friend from Colorado -- hasn't a clue what to do.

This is where balance comes into play. Don't get me wrong. The vast majority of guys need to learn proper rules of grooming and culture (fashion, for those not in the know). However, there is a difference between knowing how to shave and deodorize and spending hundreds of dollars on skin products. There is no fine line between knowing what looks good and splurging on $150 Dolce & Gabbana button-downs.

The fact of the matter is, dressing and behaving like stereotypical gay men has become a fad, just like Tamagotchis and poker.

One of the key arguments I hear for metrosexuality is, supposedly, girls think a well-groomed, well-dressed, sensitive and cultured men are their ideal mates. Talking with several of my female friends, I can say safely this is not the case. It doesn't get guys more ladies, it doesn't make them more appealing and it just puts their sexuality into question.

To harken back to the refrain we've heard ever since kindergarten, it really is just better to be yourself. The guys who look the best to the ladies aren't those wearing certain brands, but those who are confident with themselves. So metro boys, drop the "styling product," return your Ben Sherman jeans and just stick to poker.